Motivation Check

I sit on my couch writing this today. My plans were to be in another town visiting with family. My circumstances changed, thus the plans needed revision. Yesterday, I felt a bit bewildered by the circumstance change. I was disappointed I was not going to be able to see all the people I love that I had planned to visit. This morning, the holy tap came as instructions; Check your motivation. I’d like to say I didn’t know what that meant, but I did.

Not only did the ‘holy tap’ bring up the subject, but in my daily reading…there it was, everywhere I turned. Such a God thing.

My list of Pro’s and Con’s for making the trip looked something like this:

Pro’s – A chance to see an aunt that is seriously ill               

            Get to see all my older relatives on one trip              

            No job yet, good time to go

            Plans for pup care worked out

            Time away from computer would rest injured elbow

Con’s – No job yet, can’t afford to go

            So much work to do on house repair

As you can see, far more Pro’s than Con’s. I made plans to go. I was excited.

Then, night before last, a dental issue hit the crisis management point. I knew I should not try to go out of town because of the uncertainty and potential pain involved.

The holy tap, in the bright light of this clear morning, brought home my questionable intent. All my Pro’s are good reasons, they are not anti-scriptural, and are circumstantially agreeable. Good to go.

Here’s the catch; the trip would validate feelings I have been fighting in making decisions for my life. Going to that ‘safe place in the bosom of family’ would foster my need for a sense of security, the warm fuzzy comfort zone which takes some of the scary out of new direction. It would encourage to me to follow MY desires for my life over waiting for God’s plan.

I was busted by God and I knew it. He didn’t cause the dental issue. It is a consequence of years of bad dental decisions on my part. He did, however, tap me on the shoulder to point out what we both knew; I was playing on powerful emotions, counting on them to sway me, rather than waiting on my Lord. Motivational trickery is not a good thing, most especially when you use it on yourself. Thank you, Lord, for keeping me honest, my accounts short, and focused on Your will, not mine.