A Peek at the Past

As a writer, I really enjoy words. I love it when I find a phrase that jumps off the page at me. I found one such phrase this morning in my reading. It was, ‘…his heart was simply encrusted with rebellion.’ If you don’t get a visual from that, read it again because it paints a vivid word picture.

I’ve mentioned before there is a small trickle of rebellion still lingering in me of which I am fully aware. It used to be a raging river. Without boring you with detail, I had a difficult road to traverse as a child growing into a teen while forced to live with abuse. I learned to stand-up for myself to maintain any emotional survival. Any opposition was declared rebellion. Sometimes it actually was. Suffice it to say, I did not (as the comment goes) ‘go along to get along’. I learned to take a stand; I became a ‘principle fighter’. Even then I knew the difference between standing up for what I believed in and rebellion for the sake of rebelling. I was proficient at both.

Maybe that’s why the phrase ‘…his heart was encrusted with rebellion’ resonated so soundly with me. Maybe its impact was in recognizing a reflection of my former self more than the turn of a poetic phrase. Who knows? God has tempered my attitudes, my mouth, my actions…every area of my life. For those of you that only know me from this time in my life and yet still consider me ‘taxing’ to deal with, you don’t even know the start of it. All I can say is that God has done a mighty work in me and I have faith that He will complete what He has started.

My rebellion these days is largely limited to going In the Out door at Wal-Mart. That may seem a silly thing to you but for me, it’s my way of standing up for myself and declaring the infamous, invisible THEY can’t tell me what to do. There it is - my trickle of rebellion.

I’m thankful I saw my page jumping, ‘…his heart was encrusted with rebellion’ line today. It reminded me from whence I came and how much God has done in my life. I am far down the road in my Christian walk from the hard-headed, independent thinking, soapbox cause-preaching rebel I once was but I am not anywhere near where I need to be. Thank You, God, for the reminder and for the peek at how far You have brought me.

Pick Your Battles

I have an issue with violence. Can’t stand it. My first memory of thinking about not liking violence was when I was a young child. Daddy and his new bride left my little brother and me with her roommates, an old couple, while they went on their honeymoon. This, in and of itself, was traumatic enough because my brother and I did not know these people. Her kids did, we did not. My little brother cried a lot. This old couple watched wrestling and I thought it was barbaric.It made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t old enough to think, “Hey, this is barbaric and I’m uncomfortable!” but I did think it was horrible that people sat around watching two other people fight. My feelings for boxing are the same. Why do people do it and why do other people watch it, much less like it?

Now, we have not only wrestling and boxing but various forms of people in a cage or ring doing horrible things to one another. I know the die-hard fighting fans will call it ‘sport’…violence, by any other name, is still people being violent against other human beings. I bet those Christians thrown to the lions in the name of 'sport' didn't think it was all that entertaining.

I have a hard time reconciling being a Christian and watching/enjoying fighting of any sort. It disturbs my inner peace in a large way. I will not watch movies with violence. I recently walked out of the room where we were watching the movie “The Guardians”. Violence against animated animals or people is still violence. I just walked away. My husband enjoys what he calls “Action” movies. That’s not fooling anyone; the ‘action’ being taken is violence.

As Christians, we are to emulate Jesus. You cannot convince me that Jesus would have or could have stood around cheering on people fighting for sport. I just can’t get my head around that visual. My spirit rejects that possibility. It goes against everything I know about Jesus. 

Yes, I know God sent armies into battle to wipe out entire nations, a bloody business that was! I know we have war today. I also know Scripture says:

Ephesians 6:12-13 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Here’s my question to ponder: Why do we tolerate, promote, make wages, and (for some) relish people fighting one another when we have an evil, spiritual realm to battle?

Something to think about………..

Opportunity Lost

God is faithful to look after the smallest detail and our every need. He always takes cares of His part…the disconnect comes when we do not follow through on ours. What’s God to do when He opens doors of opportunity and we do not walk through them?

Case in point – last night before going to bed, I set up my crock-pot overnight system to cook steel-cut oats. If you’ve not tried them, I highly recommend them. I love oatmeal and the steel-cut oats are just what they are called…the oak berry cut with a steel blade. Oatmeal we buy in the grocery store has been through a lot of processing, including pre-cooking, rolling, flattening….all kinds of things. Steel-cut oaks are the basic oat berry, chopped up with steel blades…period. They have a different texture and all the nutritional goodness God intended oaks to have. We love them and looked forward to having a warm pot waiting for us when we got up this morning.

After I had been asleep about 15-20 minutes, I sat straight up from a dead sleep with the panicked thought, “I didn’t turn the crock-pot on!” I jumped out of bed and padded barefooted across the cold floor to the kitchen and felt the side of the crock-pot to find, yes indeed, it was cold. I turned the knob to high and padded back to bed thanking the Lord for waking me so we would have a delightful, hot bowl of oats to ward off the cold morning. I was still expressing my gratitude when I fell asleep again, I guess, because that is the last thought I remember.

This morning I woke to the aroma of fresh coffee, thanks to the automatic timer thingie on the coffee pot. Pulling on my robe, I noticed I did not smell the oats…hmmm. I’m awake now. In the kitchen I poured my coffee and went to stir the oats. All is not well. The crock-pot is cold, the oats are not steamy and creamy…my heart sinks. Whatever is the problem? In the light, which I did not turn on in the night, I noticed the crock-pot was unplugged. Aauugghh……

The Lord woke me up from a dead sleep to make sure I had not only my heart’s desire, but the healthy goodness of His provision. It was my lack of follow through, by not turning on the light to make sure I had done everything I needed to do, to insure I could benefit from it. God is always faithful to complete what He starts…we are the disconnect when we are not so diligent. Makes me shudder to think of all I probably missed out on because I didn't follow through a door God opened! Thanks for the opportunity, Lord. You opened the door.

Waiting on the Lord

What a day! Only 7:30am and already things have gone haywire. Very little of what I have tried to accomplish is done to completion…very little! I’ve been bounced in cyberspace till I’m dizzy. The website for American Christian Fiction Writers says it doesn’t know me & won’t let me log-in again. I was there earlier this morning for reseach but NOW it doesn’t know me?? Nothing I tried to download from the site earlier loads where I can see it. I can’t find my 2011 calendar and I live by my calendar. And if all that wasn’t enough, and don’t you think it should be, I get caught up and have yet to finish a cup of HOT coffee! It gets cold as I plug away at one issue after another. I NEED hot coffee. That alone is enough to mess me up.

I could stomp my feet and blow a gasket but I’d still be struggling so I’m choosing to take a page from the lessons I got yesterday in my Bible ready instead. You might recall I was reading in John 21 about Jesus cooking fish for the disciples. It was about far more than the cooking of fish, of course. The part I am utilizing this morning is following the example set by the disciples when they decided to go fishing.

I can only imagine how devastated they must have been at the thought the ministry time with Jesus was over. They gave up everything to follow Him and now they waited, uncertain of their futures. John does not tell us why the disciples are back in Galilee, but in fact Jesus had told them to return there, where he would meet them (Mk 14:28; 16:7). They seem to have been sitting around, unsure of what to do, until Peter decides to go fishing and the others come along (v. 3). Peter is taking the lead, but what sort of lead is it? Some see this act as "aimless activity undertaken in desperation" or even apostasy, that is, abandoning the Lord and returning to their former life. Others think they went fishing simply because they needed to eat. The latter is probably true enough, but there is also a sense that Peter and the others, while not necessarily aimless and certainly not apostate, are doing what is right in their own eyes. The stories in this chapter reveal Jesus' bringing his disciples, especially Peter, more completely under his lordship. The disciples do not know what to do, so they do that which is necessary, and in taking this initiative they put themselves in a place where Christ meets them. Here is the simple truth, attested to by the saints, that when we are uncertain what to do we should simply do our duty and God will guide.

That night they catch nothing (v. 3), a graphic portrayal of barrenness. They have done what they thought was the right thing but experience utter failure. This prepares them to learn one of the central lessons of discipleship--apart from Jesus they can do nothing (15:5). Jesus has taught this lesson before, for "never in the Gospels do the disciples catch a fish without Jesus' help"! But they need the lesson repeated, as we often do as well. I know I do!!

So, since my puny human efforts have been thwarted all morning…I will go fishing, metaphorically speaking. I will go back to doing what I know to do while I wait for Jesus. I desire to be under His lordship completely…even though my actions do not always reflect that desire. Again, the simple truth, attested to by the saints, that when we are uncertain what to do we should simply do our duty and God will guide. Hallelujah!!!

Fishing with Expectancy

If you’ve never eaten fresh caught fish cooked over a campfire…well, I just feel sorry for you. You have missed out on one of the great pleasures of life. I’d work to remedy that as soon as possible if I were you. Put it on you Priority To-Do List…you won’t be sorry. You can thank me later…hahaha

For me, eating fish is just normal; I grew up on the bay. Eating fish for breakfast, as I did both yesterday and this morning, always put me in mind of the scripture in John 21 where Jesus cooks fish for breakfast for the disciples. I feel a peaceful connection to Jesus every time, a closer camaraderie. It’s a beautiful thing to me.

This morning I decided to delve into the ‘why & how come’ of that piece of scripture. Inquiring minds really do want to know. I read several commentaries; everything from the convoluted explanations that made me scratch my head to the basic relatively uninformative that made me say, “well, duh!”

I learned new details this morning about the time in history, the types of fish in the sea of Tiberias, fishing laws that made it possible for those particular men to own and fish from a boat when others could not, and the deliberate acts of Jesus that morning and the miracles they represented. It was enlightening, interesting, and informative and made the story come alive. I can say with all honesty my connection to eating fish for breakfast and the camaraderie I feel attached to it has a whole new meaning to me.

I could explain all of this to you as I read and understood it, sharing the richness and complexity of the information. I could, but I’m not. I believe the information I was meant to glean from my research was made alive and real to me because it was what God thought I needed to learn. My lesson was tailored for me. God may want you to get something different, some lesson you need. I shared what I shared in hopes that your interest was piqued and you felt a longing to dive into it to see what your haul would be. Just as the disciples pulled in a full net of big fish ('big' is an important word here…look it up to know why), your net will be filled with all Jesus intends for you to catch.

My best suggestion would be to plan ahead and fish with a sturdy net……  

Give Us This Day...

This morning the holy tap on my shoulder came as I sat down to my breakfast. You know that picture/print of the old man sitting down and praying over a bowl of soup and a partial loaf of bread with his glasses lying on top of a big book I prefer to believe is his Bible?  You’ve know that picture, right? We have ‘couple friends’ that gave us that picture in a nice frame and it is displayed in our home.  

This morning, I sat down to my bowl of breakfast soup and a partial loaf of bread I made last night. I felt the pull of the picture…maybe it was just my imagination but I think it was part of the holy tap…and I looked up to study it once more. I love that print, always have.  If you study the print up close, you’ll see the rough texture of his shirt, the crude bowl and the simple table. His face and hands are detailed, you can imagine the smell of the soup, hear the sound of the crusty bread being cut and feel the humble prayer move the very heart of God.

My quick little dash of a “thanks for the food, Lord” prayer rang hollow in my heart…I wonder if it felt as hollow to God. I didn’t bother to bow my head or fold my hands like the old man in the picture. I don’t know that it is required but something about the taking the time to do the act gives it more reverence than my pitiful excuse of a prayer as I stirred my soup. Then, in what I call “God time”, memories of many meals consumed without prayer and prayers dashed off like the one I uttered this morning flew past my spiritual eyes. I felt conviction for my selfishness. I was more concerned about stuffing my face and getting on with the business of my oh-so-important-world that I tossed a few words toward heaven and hoped they counted for something. PLEASE!

One of the reasons I love the picture so much is that you see the humble man before his humble meal giving thanks with reverence and sincerity. I think the holy tap this morning was to remind me that giving thanks for the food blessings I have is worth more than I gave it. We pray before meals in restaurants but it’s a quick thing, too. We pray before we eat dinner every evening, sometimes my Honey is praying over his plate while I’m still in the kitchen. Sometimes, usually on a Friday night Shabbat dinner meal, we actually give a proper prayer of thanks. Usually, it’s a perfunctory prayer offered up so we can get about the business of eating without further ado. How sad is that!

So, my prayer this morning for all of us is that we get our selfish selves out of the way long enough to really…sincerely…humbly…come before the Lord in thanks for the blessings of nourishment He provides us.  Forgive us, Lord, for the pitiful, mindless things we do and the prayers of thanks we’ve left unsaid.