The Signpost of a Provoked Heart

Acts 17:16-17 Now while Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was provoked within him when he saw that the city was given over to idols.  Therefore he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and with the Gentile worshipers, and in the marketplace daily with those who happened to be there.

In the last few weeks and days I have had several conversations with others (not talking to myself this time!) about the direction God is moving me in my life. The winds of change have been blowing for while now but I stood my ground, hanging on to all unmovable objects around me, while God did the work He needed to do in me.

Frankly, I was terrified I was misreading His intentions and was holding out. I’ve made more than one or two blunders in my life, leaning on my own understanding and desires. Yet God knew my fears and starting placing those ‘postcards from heaven’ I kept asking for before me.

First, He gave me peace in my heart about making a change I swore I would never make. That was huge! Second, He placed confirmation after confirmation before me where He knew I’d find it…in my God time and study. I have not been seeking out confirmation…He just plants it in front of me. Below is what He gave me this morning…see for yourself. It goes with our reference verse above; read it again.

Without a doubt, God has plans for you. Your life is no accident. You have a purpose. Today, we will discover an important key to help you understand your calling.        

The word provoked literally means that his spirit was deeply troubled; his spirit was grieved within him. 

That gives us the first step in understanding your purpose.  What grieves your heart?  Paul was grieved about this city wholly given over to idols.  And the next verse begins with the word therefore.  He did something about it. 

Generally, the things that grieve you in your heart are things that God has gifted you to change.  They point you to your purpose.

For instance, in Job 30:25, Job said, "Has not my soul grieved for the poor?"  If you read Job's story, a big part of his ministry had to do with helping the poor.  It was tied to what caused his heart to grieve.

Then there was David who was grieved and provoked as Goliath was taunting the Israelites.  Why?  David was called to be a leader and a warrior in Israel.  It was a signpost pointing to his calling.

What is it that provokes you in your heart?  Whatever it is, do something about it. 

Looking back, I can see where God was ‘grooming’ me for this season of change in my life. I have grieved in my heart for years over the very thing He is moving me toward. Amazing! The calling is no different now than it was years ago, just redirected as a weather vane would be by the winds of change. What is it that provokes you in your heart?  Whatever it is, do something about it. 

Modern Day Psalms

My Friends, if you do not fill your life with Christian music, you are missing out! I cannot tell you how often the words of a song have touched my heart when I needed it. God can minister to us in many ways and the beauty of Christian music is that is literally taken from scripture. In my area, the main source is found on the radio at KLOVE, 91.3. KLOVE can be found almost everywhere and you can even listen online.

This past week I journeyed back to see relatives. I’ve had a lot of change in my life over the last year or so, and going ‘home’ to see family can serve to bring back a sense of ‘grounding’ when life seems so uncertain. This trip, however, was to share time with my last four relatives of my parent’s generation. It can be emotional comfort food. I was aware of that and wanted to make sure I wasn’t swayed in my life decisions based on feasting on that emotional comfort food. I prayed before I hit the road that God help me see clearly in the midst of all that was familiar and/or tugged on heart strings of my childhood.

On the long drive back, I couldn’t wait for the place on the road where I knew KLOVE would tune back in. I needed it, I wanted it and I waited for it with anticipation. I was feeling alone and disconnected. The trip back made it clear I no longer belong there. All the sentimental, nostalgic emotions toying with me could not cover up the reality that I did not belong in the home of my past. Nor did it clear up anything about my future; that is still shrouded in the fog of God’s timing. I felt like I didn’t fit in or belong anywhere. Then God spoke to me through a song by Sanctus Real:

I’m Forgiven.  

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in
the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain,
wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don't fit in and I don't
feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the
arms of Christ ‘cause

I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven

The Things We do to Ourselves

Luke 9:57-58 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

This scripture was lovingly and mercifully brought to my mind this morning. After a weekend of unwise…okay, really stupid thinking on my part, the Lord reminded me of His words. It was a ‘spiritual light bulb moment’ if you will.

After writing the blog last week on whining, I spent far too much time wringing my hands and whining my way through the weekend. Good grief! That’s appropriate, ‘grief’ was decidedly what I brought on myself with all the worry and whining.

Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God’s peace was not my companion this past weekend and it was all my fault. I know better but I still fell into the trap of worry. What do I do? Do I stay or do I go? Do I down size or punt? Will I find a good job so I can stay or will I have to leave to find a job? Which end is up? What do I do? Do I stay or do I go? Do I down size or punt? A merry-go-round of crazed thinking rolling over and over in my head. Needless to say, no answer did I find in my loony-tunes thinking!

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

I was wallowing in confusion and kept repeating that verse above. I knew I was neither thinking nor acting according to the Word. Yet, there I was swimming in a pool of doubt and, yes I have to say it, self-pity. Poor me, what was I to do? Oh, please! It may sound harsh to say but I was the author of my confusion and worry. I listened to my flesh, sowed into fear and reaped a harvest of stress and worry with strength that could take down a bull elephant! I did it. I can’t blame the enemy for it, though I am sure he was entertained by it.

Then, as if to say ‘I love you anyway’, God gave me the scripture Luke 9:57-58 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

As long as I am following the Lord and serving Him, what does it matter where I live? The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. I am calm this morning and my heart is happy. I lost sight of all that is important to me for a couple of days and paid the price. Oh, I prayed over the weekend but it was with self-centered motives. I was seeking my will, not His. Silly girl. The consequences of that turned my weekend into a long nightmare and I suffered physically because of the stress.

I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 …in spite of yourself. Italics added by me.

Listen to the Voice

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

I had a powerful and ugly reminder in the night to listen to the small still voice which tries to guide us, often in spite of ourselves. For several days now I have had a moment’s pause when taking my medication both in the morning and evening. I knew something wasn’t right as I looked at the medication in my hand and even ‘heard’ a small warning. I can picture myself sitting there with the meds in my hand, looking at them. Then, as habit would have it, I swallow the lot down in one gulp and went about my business. I ignored the inner voice’s warning.  

I was wakened in the night very ill; I struggle with Crohn’s. Diagnosed in August, it was a relief to finally have a medication prescribed that made a significant difference in the quality of day to day life living with the Crohn’s. As I dealt with the illness for hours last night I saw the mental image of myself looking at the meds in my hand and ignoring the ‘voice’ inside telling me something was wrong. I had left out the Crohn’s meds when I filled my pill sorter. And because I always fill the sorter for the week, I just pop them in and go. Warning ignored, I followed my habit, status quo, business as usual…until the price for ignoring the warning came due.

People, when that spirit voice inside tells you something isn’t right, SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT. Had I listened, I could have spared myself hours of intense pain. Had I paused long enough to even ask God what it was I was missing, what I didn’t understand or couldn’t see, I know He would have directed me to the answer. But I didn’t, I relied on myself and my habit. God didn’t make me ill or cause me to hurt last night; I did that by ignoring the small still voice of insight and direction. He’s not going to shout at me to get my attention and once I realized all the opportunities I passed up to listen, I asked for forgiveness for being so stubborn and set in my ways. I took a dose of the missing medication and, shaking all the way, climbed into my bed. I knew it might be a short-lived reprieve but I needed to lie down. As my head hit the pillow, I was aware a peace came over me and I fell into a deep sleep for the rest of the night.

My physical body is still recovering and quite shaky from last night’s misadventure. My bed is still unmade at 8:43 am, and I might just crawl back in it later BUT, I am wiser for having had the experience, feeling a bit foolish because I know better in the first place and humbled by the lesson. I am still in awe of the sense of peace that fell over me as I laid down last night and know Jesus had His hand all over me. It was a painful, hard lesson I shall not soon forget. Listen to the voice!

  

He is There, Can You Hear Him?

Mark 13:26  “And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory.”

When we come to a place where we don’t understand what is happening…when everything seems to be caving in, there is Jesus. We always have the forgiveness of the cross, the victory of the empty tomb, and the hope of Christ’s imminent return.

When we go to the doctor and he tells us we have a malignancy or when we hear that we are infertile as a couple and cannot bear a child, He is there. When we have to declare bankruptcy or we are laid off work, He is there. When we read a note that our spouse has left or a loved one dies because of a terrorist act, He is there. We have a Savior…and we have a choice to believe or not to believe.

We can begin to murmur, criticize, grumble, and despair or we can yield to the Savior and hear Him say, “My child, no matter what is happening, this is how much I love you. Look to the cross. Look to the empty tomb. Look for Me. I’m coming again.”

Maybe we have created such noise in our world that we cannot hear Him because of the chaos in which we live. We might need to turn down the volume of our crazy, busy lives. Maybe we need to reevaluate the activities to which we devote our time and/or the people in which we spend that time. Are we spending time with people that make God a priority in their life? Are we communing with other believers who remind us to lift our eyes off our problems and to the one source of true comfort? Are we sharing the new of Jesus with those that do not know Him at all? Are we stepping into a place of personal solitude for one on one time with Jesus?

This reflects my own inclinations and personality, but I think it also points to two profound requirements for the Christian life—to engage with friends and families as well as with those whose lives are devoid of faith or who are struggling in the shadow of doubt; to gather together in Christ's name, to meet with others for worship and communion, but also to allow for time and space for personal solitude and silence when we can read, ponder, listen, heal, and allow the Creator and the Creation to speak to us and renew us in quietness.

I remember realizing once that loneliness is not a choice, but solitude is. When I need an injection of new energy, I've made it a practice to retreat, to plan a solo time with myself and God.  In that environment, separated from human society, I can follow the injunction “Be still and know that I am God.” I nearly always find, in that stillness a rejuvenation, a divine reconnection that prepares me for re-entry and re-engagement with God's children anywhere, once again fully alive and ready for action!

This is easier to do than it sounds. Options are out there; check into a retreat house or camp in the wilderness, go sit alone in your car, close the door to your room and mean it, or take a “sabbatical weekend” at home. Clear the daily, usual distractions, and then open your heart to Him.

Get in a position of humility. If you can, drop to your knees. If you cannot, bow your head and close your eyes. Imagine the cross of Christ. Meditate upon the shame Christ experienced, the pain He endured, and the victory He secured in His death. Imagine the love and absolute dedication to you of the One doing these things. He will not forsake and leave you now; He is there.