Search Me, O God!

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This morning it felt as if everything I read was written just for me! God is so good and faithful to lead us to what we need to see and hear. For the last few days I have been asking God to look into my heart and check my motives on some decisions I have made. One of my biggest concerns is that I do not deceive myself on the motive front. I know the Lord was leading me in a new direction and felt at peace about His marching orders. My concern was my execution of those orders. You know how I tend to over analyze!  Balancing out earthly logic and spiritual motivation seemed a daunting task.

Last night, I felt God saying I was on the right track in motive but had let the earthly logic dictate and delay and distract me. Focus on the spiritual motivation and leading had almost gotten lost in the shuffle. I was relying on my earthly wisdom, trying so hard to do the “right thing the right way.” The words in blue are only a small portion of where He led me this morning.  

In a time of personal reflection, the prophet Jeremiah wrote, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) Left on my own, there isn’t much I can’t rationalize. Even sin can be seen as something deserved. Whoever believes his heart is not deceitful is deceived. That’s why today’s passage should be our daily prayer.

When I understand that I am not the best judge of my motives, it’s time to bow before the God who is all the way through my heart. Let’s ask Him to do some serious searching.

Father, I ask you to shine your search light on my heart. Make the sin show up in a clear and disgusting way. Make known my heart. Show me where I am missing the mark. Make known my anxious thoughts so I can turn from worry to trust. Show me where I am offensive to you and others. Please don’t let me live my life doing things that offend others by my personality or actions or words and not even know the damage I’m causing. Please don’t let me live in an offensive way to you and never seek your forgiveness. Father, help me to follow hard after you as you lead me home. In Christ’s Name. Amen.

In this case, my sin was relying on earthly wisdom and ways while His direction was sitting on the back burner simmering. Obedience delayed is disobedience. This is where the spiritual rubber meets the road, People. Stepping out in faith is not like jumping off a cliff into a dark abyss. It may feel like it but it’s not. Knowledge of Jesus and His character and His faithfulness to His Word is our assurance we are not falling into a vast black hole. Father, help me to follow hard after you as you lead me home. In Christ’s Name, Amen!