Dem Bones

At the podiatrist office yesterday, we discussed the diagnostic trial of strapping my foot. It had made a difference so we moved on to the next step in what I now know is a series of steps of trial and error. Bummer! Who wants to go through multiple steps? I wanted it 'fixed' and I wanted it fixed now! Suffice it to say I am not getting my way.

This morning I am walking tall…or at least taller. I have hard plastic orthopedic devices in my shoes (which I now have to wear all the time) and a heel riser that makes me taller. They take pressure off the arch of my foot, and keep my foot from twisting sideways in an effort to make my deteriorating knee less painful. Who would have thought something in your shoe would make such a difference in your knee? They do not seem connected at first glance.

The ironic part is that we can't do anything about the pain in my foot yet, the original reason for going to the foot guy in the first place, because it will mask the diagnostic efforts we are taking for the knee. HUH? Can you hear that old childhood song…"with the toe bone connected to the foot bone, the foot bone connected to the ankle bone.."? "Dem bones, dem bones, dem bones…." FYI...Did you know that song was inspired by the Book of Ezekiel in the Bible? The name Ezekiel means 'God will strengthen'. Coincidence...I think not!

My knee situation has been painful for a long while. I ignored the pain the best I could and went about my life. Ignoring it did not either make it go away, make it better, or show any signs of wisdom on my part. I consulted a knee specialist before that diagnosed the deterioration and, wanting to avoid another surgery, suggested the device in my shoe but I, in my infinite wisdom, decided I could not afford to do that. Instead, I suffered daily with pain that often kept me awake at night, resorted to using a cane when my knee would buckle backward just so I could walk and regularly shuffled around like a decrepit old hobbit! Yep, I was smart all right! Pfst!! Were it not for the tumor growing in my foot, I would not have gone to the foot guy, hardheaded donkey that I am!!

Therefore, that orthopedic device I thought I could not afford before, I paid for yesterday…and for the heel riser that made me taller. FLASHBACK: To an old muffler commercial that said, "you can pay me now or pay me later…" The pitiful part is that I am paying with pain and suffering as well as cold cash.

This morning I felt that familiar 'holy tap on the shoulder', so I knew God was trying to tell me something. I listened. While all this foot/knee business is a sad, sad tale for me, it is a reflection of what we often do in our spiritual lives. We may have situations, circumstances, and behaviors in our lives that are damaging, causing pain yet we hardheadedly refuse to deal with or eliminate them from our lives. They may seem isolated from one another like my foot and knee did to me, yet the source of damage affects many areas of our lives. I could not have fixed my knee problem with any random piece of plastic in my shoe, it had to be the right form and fit to align my bones and tendons to the perfect order in which God made them. We have to make things right!

This doctor said he could not repair the damage, only make it less painful. Isn't that what we do, try different things to make the pain less offensive as we move through life? Surgeries will do what they can to repair the damage and remove the tumors but even then; they leave behind scar tissue that can still be a source of pain. The scars need not be on our skin, our spirits bear the scars of failed attempts at self-healing. God alone can make the required repairs to my knee and foot, restoring them to His perfect design. Anything other than His healing and restoring hand will fall short. People use work, drugs, alcohol, sex, sports, playing on the computer, spending money, and a host of other diversions, to mask the problem and try to assuage the pain. It is only when reaching out to God that we can begin to see a real difference in our spiritual lives. Nothing of the world restores like the healing love of God.

I had to acknowledge, accept responsibility for, and decide to take action on getting the help I needed. I have prayed about my knee for a long time. I asked God to do His part and make it go away. Yet I remained stiff-necked about following through on my part. I have suffered a great deal because of it and I have no one to blame but myself. God gave me enough knowledge to know to whom I should turn in the medical field yet I allowed my concern of spending the money dictate my choices. I kept waiting on God to fix it, never acknowledging the direction He was giving for doing just that. Meanwhile, more damage done, more pain suffered, and more money spent. Yep, I'm feeling pretty foolish about now. God faithfully does His part but we must not sit back and ignore ours. FAITH is an action word.