Being Independent is Highly Overrated

By virtue of being American, we are raised with the pioneer independent spirit. We pride ourselves in our national mentality of independence. Sadly, in the world in which we live, that might not be such a bad thing. Or is it? It becomes a problem when we apply that thought process to our spiritual life. We can not function outside of God's will for us and still enjoy the fruit He has promised. Worldly success and Godly vision rarely are the same. You can be very successful and follow the Lord's ways, but it takes a self-discipline many never achieve. Self gets in the way.

As for me, I'd rather live in a tent and follow the Lord than dwell in a mansion of worldly living. I tried living my life "my way' as the old song tells of, failed miserably in every aspect of it, and finally surrendered to the Lord all those years ago.

At the time my Honey and I married, I had been my sole support for many years. I wasn’t ‘rolling in the dough’ as the saying goes but I kept a roof over my head, never went hungry, paid my bills, bought my own vehicle, went on mission trips, tithed every Sunday and was actively serving Him in many different ways. I had, thanks to God, been blessed with promotion on my job. Life had taught me not to depend on another person and I was fiercely independent. Sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it?

Moving in with my new husband was a blessing and a challenge at the same time. Learning to live with a partner again did not come easily. First, I planned on being transferred with my company from Austin to San Antonio. That did not happen and the bottom line was that the nice income I/we were expecting as a given was not to be. This came as an emotional and psychological blow to the former Miss Independent, now Mrs. Married with no job. I searched for a job with comparable pay, found nothing. I did find a job I enjoyed a lot in spite of the pitiful salary but physical issues forced me to resign. I was forced to be dependent on my Honey. This was painful and terrifying to me; my history reared its ugly head to remind me that depending on a man was not a good thing.

The one thing that kept me from losing my mind was that I knew, knew God had put my Honey and I together to serve Him in ministry. It was through an immense amount of prayer and Bible reading that I realized God was using that time of transition to build my faith in Him and my new husband. Growing pains, my constant companion; I learned to simply stand in faith on the plan God had for my life.

Soon after, we became a family of six rather than two when four of our grandchildren came to live with us. They were young, troubled by all the pain in their own lives and needed me home with them. Had I been working, I would have had to quit. God had used my transition time to prepare me for life with my husband and children.

Every day I'm thankful for the wake-up call from God, as painful as it was at the time, because my life today would not be possible had all that not happened. Independence, I have discovered, is not for me! Dependent financially on my husband does not equate to lack of self-esteem or personal failure; I want and need to be dependent on the Lord. I love being partners with my Honey and, though my contributions to our life together do not come in the form of a paycheck, they have value and make our lives richer for them. I have learned to lean on my husband and not see that as a weakness; I have learned to trust him more and more as I trust Him more. Funny how that worked.