Will You Hear Me Now?

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

James 1:19-20 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt got tired of smiling that big smile and saying all the usual things at those White House receptions. So, one evening he decided to find out whether anybody was paying attention to what he was saying. As each person came up to him with extended hand, he flashed his big smile and said, “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” People would automatically respond with comments such as “How lovely.” or “Continue on with your great work.” Nobody listened to what he was saying, except for one foreign diplomat. When the president said, “I murdered my grandmother this morning,” the diplomat responded softly, “I’m sure she had it coming to her.”

It’s a funny story, but how often do we do the same? It seems that we have much to say but we are not very good at listening. There is such a lack of good listening skills in this day and age that we have to pay someone a lot of money just to listen to us!

I once had a friend that was notorious for looking around the entire time we were conversing. It was as if she was looking for someone else to entertain her, she was not plugged into the conversation with anything more than her body standing in close proximity. Not the stuff good communication is made of. Notice I said “I once had a friend…”

It seems to me, we have potential for great conflict, confusion and chaos when the powerful tongue and careless ears clash. We’ve all had those moments when we think we’re carrying on a conversation with someone only to discover to our dismay that their ears appear to be coated with Teflon and our words are sliding into a puddle next to them. OR when we think we have concisely expressed our thoughts and/or emotion but the other person heard them through a filter of emotional baggage and all original intent is lost. You end up debating something that wasn’t even on the agenda and both parties end up angry and frustrated. I refer you once again to the Scripture above.

Good communication is not accidental. Everyone wants to know they are truly being heard, that their thoughts and opinions matter. It is only possible when people are plugged in and using their tongues and ears with deliberate purpose and intent. Nothing says, “You don’t count and are not important to me” more than sloughing off someone’s attempt to communicate with you by not truly listening. When you are busy coming up with a response in your head, you are not truly listening. When you jump in and talk over someone, you are not truly listening. When you hear pain in someone’s words and voice, yet neglect to acknowledge them, you are not truly listening.

I believe the ear is just as powerful as the tongue. It, too, has the power of life or death over communication which determines the quality of relationships in our journey of life. Good communication is like a six lane highway where poor communication is a neglected gravel road full of potholes. You can travel on either but the journey is vastly different.

More importantly, God has many things He desires to reveal to us — but we’re always talking, asking, and negotiating. We can’t listen to the voice of God if we’re always talking. Let’s strive to do less talking and more listening today. Let’s give the Lord and others a chance to be heard.