Women in the Mirror

  ‘Life has a way of sneaking up on you when you are busy doing something else.’

That is a paraphrased quote on a fridge magnet given to me by my ‘adopted daughter’ Julie. She was an intense young woman, wise beyond her years in many ways, sheltered beyond reason in others. I have to say though; the girl knew how to deal with problems. She would show up on my doorstep, frozen chocolate crème pie in hand. Upon entry to the house, she would march to the kitchen, grab a couple of spoons, and then climb into the middle of my bed, pie in tow. My job was to make a pot of coffee before joining her. We would hash over her latest dilemma, eat the pie right out of the tin; washing it down with hot coffee. That approach may not work for everyone but it was Julie's way.

  Julie became my 'adopted' daughter. We bonded in a large way, because I believe I was the first person in her life to tell her she was perfectly fine, just as she was. It seemed Julie’s parents groomed her for something 'more'. An older sister, groomed to be a politician, cast a looming shadow while Julie, considered politician wife material, was left to fend on her own a bit too much. These are, of course, only my opinions based on what I witnessed and heard over chocolate crème pie. Let me assure you, there was nothing second place about Julie!

  A self-professed spoiled child, she projected a picture of the image she was to be, the way to act and conduct her self and, clearer yet, what not to be. Sadly, her perception was totally based on the expectations of others. She was not so much a spoiled child as she was an emotionally neglected one. I believe it was easier to claim spoiled status than it was to face the void. If ever there was a classic people pleaser, it was my Julie. I recognized it in her because I was a reformed people pleaser myself. I think it was that, more than anything else, which drew her to me. I believe she saw in me hope and freedom, freedom to be whom and what she was, just as she was and hope, that it was indeed possible.

  It is not so much that I am very wonderful or pulled together. It is that I learned to love the woman in the mirror; only possible because of what God has done in me. If Julie learned nothing else at all from me, my prayer is that she learned that lesson. I learned from a long line of mistakes and errors that I was not the sum of my accomplishments, education, worldly successes, or the lack thereof. I may have failed at many endeavors but I was not a failure. I may have taken the wrong road, more than once, but at least I kept moving forward. When you know who you are in the Lord nothing else matters; it is not what others think of me that defines me. My faith determines how I conduct myself in times of trial and tribulations. In short, it is okay to be the red dress among all the beige; God loves me as He sees me through the redeeming eyes of Jesus. I pray Julie feels the love and acceptance of Jesus for the woman she sees in the mirror…wherever she is today. I pray we all come to terms with who we are in Christ and give little concern to all else.