Flames of Passion

The one year anniversary of Truth in the Morning blog is coming up in two weeks. I am amazed that the year has flown by so quickly. My goal was to write a new post each weekday and I’ve come close but not hit that mark. Another important goal was to finish a book I am writing. Looking back at the stumbling blocks to reaching that goal I see some legitimate reasons for being unable to submit a post on specific days like being too ill or out of town. Additionally, I can recall more than a few days of struggling to find the passion and inspiration to do so. It is those days I do not like and want to eradicate.

I have gotten sloppy in my writing routines, too. At one time I made a point of reading my Writing Business Plan, Daily Writers Prayer and Affirmations I created to help keep myself focused. This may sound silly to you to have to read those every day but life and the world throws things at us that distract our focus and sap our energies; even the desire and energy to do something about which we feel passion. I know my limitations and I get frustrated by distractions. Frustration is not conducive to productive writing…in fact; it is destructive to the creative process.

Since mid-December, I have not written one word on the book. It is a fiction story of Christian persuasion, of course. I was on a roll before the holidays, even had accountability partners checking on me. I needed this because I had written a difficult part of the storyline that drained me emotionally. Writing and creating is hard enough when you do not have to live in a character’s head! I took what was to be a mini-vacation over the holidays to regroup. We are now nearing the fifth month of my mini-vacation from the book! Ekk! This is unacceptable.

Slowly the storyline has been creeping back into my head when I was not purposely thinking about it so I know I am now ready to jump back in. I had made a point of not even reading what I had written because I knew I would feel guilty about not writing. The games we play with ourselves! One of my efforts to jump back in was to load the book on my laptop. I will not bore you with steps I took to make that happen but just know it is never wise to do something you consider vitally important at a time you KNOW is not your best brain time. Bad idea! Bottom-line is that I made a move that left my head spinning because it appeared I had erased the entire thing!! I thought my head would explode, my heart nearly stopped several times and my stomach…well, let’s not go there! I panicked, prayed, panicked some more and then prayed a lot. I could not fathom the possibility that the book was gone, my head was in such a tizzy! I could barely breathe.

My husband pointed out that I had printed a copy and still had that but all the difficult emotional stuff had not yet been written at the time it was printed. This felt some better but not enough to jumpstart my brain. I had to walk away and focus on breathing for a while. Once a bit closer to normal I was able to think again and, thankfully, discovered I had not erased it after all. Thank you, dear Lord!

All the trauma and drama had a silver lining; I realized how very much I was invested in the book and the deep emotional attachment I had to the passion that created it in the first place! The short time of terror flamed the passion to write, to create, to use the gift God gave me to share Him and His glory once more. A simple postcard from heaven would have been nice but maybe not as effective in garnering up all the emotion, intensity and passion. God knows me well and used an effective means to get my undivided attention. The flames of passion for this book burns brightly once more. I asked for forgiveness for my slack attitude and procrastination. I asked for renewed determination, a laser-like focus and clear mind as I write. My desire to share God and His love, mercy and grace through this book had a serious wake-up call. I’ve dusted off my written commitments and will read them every day once more. Oh, accountability partners,..…

Anything God might want to get your undivided attention on?