Listen to the Voice

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

I had a powerful and ugly reminder in the night to listen to the small still voice which tries to guide us, often in spite of ourselves. For several days now I have had a moment’s pause when taking my medication both in the morning and evening. I knew something wasn’t right as I looked at the medication in my hand and even ‘heard’ a small warning. I can picture myself sitting there with the meds in my hand, looking at them. Then, as habit would have it, I swallow the lot down in one gulp and went about my business. I ignored the inner voice’s warning.  

I was wakened in the night very ill; I struggle with Crohn’s. Diagnosed in August, it was a relief to finally have a medication prescribed that made a significant difference in the quality of day to day life living with the Crohn’s. As I dealt with the illness for hours last night I saw the mental image of myself looking at the meds in my hand and ignoring the ‘voice’ inside telling me something was wrong. I had left out the Crohn’s meds when I filled my pill sorter. And because I always fill the sorter for the week, I just pop them in and go. Warning ignored, I followed my habit, status quo, business as usual…until the price for ignoring the warning came due.

People, when that spirit voice inside tells you something isn’t right, SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT. Had I listened, I could have spared myself hours of intense pain. Had I paused long enough to even ask God what it was I was missing, what I didn’t understand or couldn’t see, I know He would have directed me to the answer. But I didn’t, I relied on myself and my habit. God didn’t make me ill or cause me to hurt last night; I did that by ignoring the small still voice of insight and direction. He’s not going to shout at me to get my attention and once I realized all the opportunities I passed up to listen, I asked for forgiveness for being so stubborn and set in my ways. I took a dose of the missing medication and, shaking all the way, climbed into my bed. I knew it might be a short-lived reprieve but I needed to lie down. As my head hit the pillow, I was aware a peace came over me and I fell into a deep sleep for the rest of the night.

My physical body is still recovering and quite shaky from last night’s misadventure. My bed is still unmade at 8:43 am, and I might just crawl back in it later BUT, I am wiser for having had the experience, feeling a bit foolish because I know better in the first place and humbled by the lesson. I am still in awe of the sense of peace that fell over me as I laid down last night and know Jesus had His hand all over me. It was a painful, hard lesson I shall not soon forget. Listen to the voice!