Ownership

Own your stuff! I’m not talking about material stuff but the ‘stuff’ you say, the actions you take or do not take and the decisions you make. None of us are innocent victims of life and circumstance all the time. Yes, sometimes fate seems to drop bombs in our world but we seriously need to look at how we contributed to that which comes our way.

I know this couldn’t possibly be about you but we all know someone that never owns up to anything. Everything is someone else’s fault and they take no ownership of that which they do. If they behaved badly it was because someone made them mad or started it first. If they fail to follow through on a promise it was because things changed and they couldn’t help it. If confronted on anything they give many half-baked reasons it was unavoidable and not their fault in the first place.

As a child I grew up with a plaque hanging in a family kitchen that read, ‘I can resist anything but temptation!’ It was referring to food in the kitchen but this is a mindset many subscribe to in all areas of life. Some simply defer to the little red demon sitting on their shoulder urging them on as if they were no more than lemmings headed for a cliff to fall over.

Grow up, People; the devil does not make us do anything! We choose to. He can throw temptation in our path at every turn, whisper naughty suggestions in our ears and open doors that lead to destruction but the decisions to act on any of them are ours and ours alone. No one else, not even the evil one that roams about to kill, steal and destroy, is responsible for our choices. We and we alone own them.

It stands to reason, we need to examine our role in that about which we are unhappy. Sometimes, it really is circumstance, which creates unpleasant situations in which we find ourselves. Even in those times, we still make choices regarding the paths we will take. A bad situation is an easy target for laying blame; this, however, does not negate our responsibility for how we respond in the situation.

If you are not happy with how someone is treating you, examine how you treat them. If you sow disrespect you will harvest disrespect. If you spread seeds of disregard it is disregard you will walk in. When you are intolerant, others will be the same with you. If you think and act as if you consider yourself better than the other person, they will diligently work to knock you off your high horse. If you scream in anger, they very well may scream back at you. What is your contribution to the situation? We need to take off our glasses of self-absolution and take a long hard honest look at what we did or didn’t do that stirred the pot of discontent. Unhappiness, discontent, disillusionment and dysfunction do not come into play quickly like cooking instant oatmeal but, seasoned with despair, are simmered slowly over time until they boil over creating quite a mess to clean up in the relationship.

1 Corinthians 13 says: Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…..People, however, do.

These familiar verses talk about how we are to treat all people. I know this is true because we are told in scripture that we have nothing if we do not have love. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves. Who then is our neighbor? Everyone is. Do we treat other people with the consideration we afford ourselves? We do if we are to live as instructed in 1 Corinthians. Imagine how easy it would be to own our ‘stuff’ if modeled after that scripture!

Take time for some thoughtful prayer and ask God to show you were you have failed to live and love as instructed in 1 Corinthians. He will show you. Maybe not all at once so not to overwhelm you but there will be flashes of memory that pop in from time to time playing out a scene from your life. This is not to condemn you but to bring conviction that cleanses and allows for healing once repentance is sought. Forgiveness and redemption, too, are yours to own.