React or Respond?

Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue".

There was a time in my life when I did not know the difference between reacting and responding. Probably didn’t give it a thought at all, one way or the other. Adding that lack of contemplation to the fact that I was a ‘quick draw’ of the tongue with deadly speed and self-perceived accuracy, pile on youthful immaturity and stir in a healthy dose of unChrist-like behavior and you’ve got a remarkable copy of the Me-that-use-to-be.

I was aware of my ability to chew people up and spit them out before they even knew what hit them; sadly, I was even proud of it. I, the young spit-fire, believed it served me well. Growing up in an emotional, mental and sexually abusive home, one hones their defense mechanisms at an early age. I’m not making excuses for it, just explaining my understanding of it at the time. Had I read the Proverb scripture quoted above at that time, I would have laughed out loud.

God has done a lot of work on me since then and I am so very thankful. Of all the changes, and there have been many, I am most often aware of the change He has made in me regarding reacting and/or responding. Because of the stripping away of my old self as I grew in Him, I have a choice now.

It is very human to strike out when we feel criticized, attacked or confronted. If someone makes us angry, we leap to our own defense drawing our mighty weapon, the tongue. To this day, my grown children expect me to react quickly and severely leaving my opponents writhing on the ground from the tongue lashing. This makes me incredibly sad because that is not how I want them to think of me. I want them to know and understand we do not have to react to criticism with anger and self-protectiveness, as the world does. They do not understand that my silence when under verbal attack is not a weakness but strength. I simply choose to respond as God has called us to represent Him in every situation; the same way Christ did- through dependence on the heavenly Father.

I can not tell you how often I have given thanks for the tamed tongue. Yes, people and situations still make me angry but God has tempered my reactions and quieted the tongue. I can, through His strength, walk away from the situation knowing I have chosen to use wisdom and discernment. Any response required will be prayerfully considered before rendered. Admittedly, it is not always easy and sometime the hair on the back of my neck rises as a jerk-knee reminder I am still a work in progress.

The Lord told the disciples that the Holy Spirit would give them wise words to say when they faced hostile authorities (Luke 12:11-12). He will do the same for you and me. If tempted to speak hastily, ask the Spirit to put a seal on your lips until God gives you the words to say and tells you it’s time to respond (Ps. 141:3).

Put your weapon away!