The Secret Life and Breeding Habits of Mugs

Coffee mugs are a pain in the backside for me. I understand that many people love their coffee mugs and more power to them. I am not one such person. This is not to disparage those fine folks but merely to vent frustration in my attempts to remain mug free and failing miserably.

Mug vs. Cup
There is a difference between a mug and a cup. Not always but more often than not, mugs are larger and heavier than a cup. Cups typically come with saucers. Cups are standard in dish ware sets but you can now find sets with the larger mugs sans the saucer, of course.

Additionally, there are Cappuccino cups, Espresso cups, tiny Demitasse cups, Latte cups, Irish coffee cups, and, at an internet site near you, Crème Brulee cups. Do we really need a separate set of cups and saucers for Crème Brulee?! When was the last time you tried to serve Crème Brulee at home but were thwarted by the lack of Crème Brulee cups? Seriously! This has gotten out of hand.

I digress. Back to the secret life and breeding habits of mugs.

My theory is they breed in the dark of the cabinets behind closed doors. I’ve ushered out more mugs than I can count, yet invariably the odd mug will pop up as if to taunt me. My husband has a mug sitting on his bathroom vanity that our grandson won and gave him on a recent camping trip. Sweet, right? What sort of person would it take to get rid of a heartfelt gift like that? A Cruella Deville type, that’s who! Yet, if left to itself, that dang mug will breed and become four mugs before you know it! Mugs love company!

People seem to like to give mugs as gifts. At least the people I know. I have graciously accepted many a Christmas mug with a smile. Inside I am wondering what the shelf life has to be before this mug can disappear. I’ve used them as pen and paper clip holders in my office. I used them to stash the make-up-containers-that-have-too-much-to-throw-away-and-maybe-will-be-needed-in-an-emergency under the sink. Let it be said I have NEVER used any of that stuff but at least the mug had a job. I’m not a bad person.

I do have my reasons for the mug aversion; some practical, some aesthetic.

On the practical side;
1. My hands hurt a lot. I have joint and tendon issues that make holding the average mug full of coffee difficult. They feel like boulders to me and, quite frankly, I do not need the unnecessary additional pain.
2. Storage is at a premium here. At one point, the entire top shelf of my pantry cabinet was taken up by an assortment of unwanted, albeit colorful mugs. This is what happens when mugs are allowed to breed unchecked!
3. We no longer have children living here so the more delicate coffee cups are not in imminent danger….as long as my husband is not doing dishes.

Aesthetics:
1. Our house is saturated in color; rich, intense color. We like it this way. So, a bunch of prolific, brightly decorated mugs tend to seem too busy and distracting. All my dishes are white. This gives the eye a place to rest. It’s soothing. Life needs soothing. I need soothing.
2. I don’t do cutesy! There are, indeed, some beautiful mugs out there, let my say I know this to be true. However, there are a lot of cutesy mugs, too, and those seem to be the ones that breed like rabbits in my cabinets. I repeat; I do not DO cutesy! You can do cutesy till your heart is content and I’ll applaud your efforts. No cutesy for me, thanks.

On a parting note let me say that it is not required that you share my opinion. Like your old stinkin’ mugs, I don’t care. This tirade was not the unprovoked ramblings of an anal retentive obsessive compulsive mug hater. I was washing up a handful of dishes this morning and lo and behold, there were two, count ‘em TWO mugs in the mix. WHY?! The secret life of mugs is alive and breeding!!